


You Ever Wonder Why We're Even Friends With Them?

by OtakuSapien



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: First Date, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7654708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtakuSapien/pseuds/OtakuSapien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tuckers has horrible friends who set him up on a blind date without his permission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Ever Wonder Why We're Even Friends With Them?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nerdfighterwhatevernumbers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdfighterwhatevernumbers/gifts).



> This was original a tumblr prompt from my sister that requested the premise "Signed up for online dating without their permission" with any RVB ship (except Grimmons because that would be too easy).

Tucker’s friends were assholes. He got all the ladies, he didn’t need dating sites. All the pictures on there were fake, anyway. Church had refused to show him the picture of his date, but apparently you couldn’t see their face too well anyway, like it had been a candid picture taken when they weren’t paying attention. 

All Church would tell him was that his date was a guy. All he got out of Caboose was that he was blond. He didn’t even know the guy’s name. They were meeting at a club called Errera, which Tucker had never heard of, but apparently his date had picked the place.  
He was sitting at the bar and wearing all aqua clothes like they’d told his date he would (no problem since almost all his shirts were blueish-greenish, but he only had one pair of pants that color. They were kinda tight and girls tended to go for his metrosexual look more than dudes, but whatever). He swears they did this just to be as obnoxious as possible. 

“Excuse me, um, are you Lavernius?” An awkward voice came from behind him. Tucker prepared himself and turned around to see whom he presumed was his date. No one else here knew him, and no one he knew personally called him Lavernius.

His date was in fact blond—the one time Caboose was right about something—and his face and arms had scars on them. They weren’t unattractive, but you couldn’t miss them. He wore a gray shirt with yellow accents and gray jeans. He was rubbing the back of his head uncomfortably and avoiding eye contact. 

“So, you’re my date?” Tucker said, “You’re…different than what I pictured.” Tucker tended to assume everyone who tried online dating only did it ‘cause they were ugly—he was a shallow guy, he’d admit it—but this guy…wasn’t. He wasn’t gonna be on the cover of a magazine any time soon, but dang. Tucker could do a lot worse. The man had a strong fit build and was about Tucker’s height. He was young looking, but probably older than Tucker, and his face was more cute than handsome or hot, but he was undeniably attractive. 

“Yeah, I get that,” the man said, taking Tucker away from his train of thought. “A surprising amount, actually. I’m- my friends call me Washington. Wash.” He extended his hand.

Tucker looked up at him, making eye contact. “Tucker,” he said, shaking hands with Washington.

“So, yeah. Thanks for agreeing to go out with me, but I’m really sorry. I can’t do this.”

Tucker wanted to be offended, even though ten seconds ago he hadn't wanted to be there either. “What, am I too hot for you?” he said, trying to be cocky, but knowing he wasn't hiding his annoyance. “I don’t get it. You go to all this trouble to get a date and now you’re standing here telling me-“

“I’m not the who asked you here,” Wash cut him off.

Tucker blinked. “Excuse me?” 

Wash sighed dramatically and ran his fingers through his hair. “You see, I have some friends—coworkers, who—for whatever reason, decided it would be funny to sign me up for a dating website. They set this whole thing up, and I’m really sorry, but I can’t do this under false pretenses and I couldn’t just stand you up. I am really sorry you had to come all this way.”

Tucker stared at him a moment before speaking. “Shit, you too?”

“...What?" 

Tucker almost laughed. "Yeah, apparently we both hang out with terrible people who think we need to get laid. Not that I don’t do that already, but…”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Nope." 

Wash sighed again with relief and finally got rid of that awkward look on his face. He sat down next to Tucker and set his head down on the counter. After a minute he picked his head up. Looking at Tucker he said, “It’s not really a date anymore but, do you want a drink anyway? While we’re here?”

Tucker smiled for some reason. “Can we get something to eat first? I’m starving. As long as you’re buying that is.”

Wash gave him a friendly smile in return. “Yes, but I don’t think they serve food here.”

"Perfect,” Tucker said, “I’ve been wanting to leave since I got here.” They both got up and headed out the door. “Why did you pick this place anyway?” 

“I didn’t,” he replied, “my friends did, remember? Apparently this is where one of my buddies met his girlfriend, so they like it here.”

It was dark out, almost 9 o’ clock. Good thing it was summer or else they’d both be freezing, even in Texas. Tucker started walking them in the direction his usual bar, which was several blocks away, so they had plenty of space to fill. So they started talking. 

Apparently they were both marines (Wash had been in a division that he “legally couldn’t talk about much,” which explained the scars) and Tucker was indeed younger than him. Tucker told him about his kid, which he usually avoided on first dates but since this wasn’t a date anymore, what did it matter? Besides, Junior was awesome. Wash should be so lucky to hear about him. 

When they got to the Blood Gulch Bar & Grill Tucker waved to the cook and the bartender as they walked in, who stopped bickering with each other long enough to greet him before going back to their fight.

“Is that normal for them?” Wash asked.

“Fighting like an old married couple? Pretty much. Five minutes from now you’ll be able to tell they’re really in love. Don’t know why they can’t see it.”

They both ordered burgers, large fries, and beers. Tucker put tabasco sauce on his fries, which Wash thought was weird, and Wash put extra mustard on his, which Tucker thought was a crime against nature. After they finished their food they ordered a few more beers, and before they knew it, it was almost 12:30. 

“Should you be getting back to your kid?” Wash looked mildly disappointed, but also concerned. The alcohol made him look flushed in a way that was half cute-half amusing.

“Nah,” Tucker responded breezily, “I’m not that irresponsible. I got my buddies Church and Caboose to watch Junior for the whole night. They signed me up for this, it’s the least they could do.”

Wash raised an eyebrow at him. “Why did you hire them for the whole night if you didn’t want to go out in the first place?”

He shrugged. “You never know, man.”

“Huh. I guess that makes sense…” Wash went to take another sip of his beer before stopping halfway. “Wait, did you say Church? And he was also a marine?”

“Yeah, why?”

Wash slammed his bottle down on the table and gave him a look somewhere between exasperation and disbelief. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“What, what’s the deal? You know him?”

“Kind of," Wash hesitated. "Remember that division I was in I can’t technically tell you about?” 

Tucker nodded, not sure where Wash was going with this.

“When I was in that division my C.O. was Leonard Church. Senior.”

Tucker nearly gagged on his beer, immediately regretting taking a sip, even if it did add dramatic effect. “You’re serious?”

“And one of the friends who signed me up for this? One of the ones that sent us to Errera? Carolina Church. His daughter.”

Tucker grumbled as he wiped up the spewed beer.“You have gotta be freaking kidding me. Church set me up! They had to have planned this.”

“I don’t think so,” Wash said almost sadly, “Carolina hasn’t talked to her brother in years. Apparently he had a falling out with their father.”

"And Carolina didn’t? I’ve heard about the guy; you’d have to be a real piece of work to get along with that douchebag.”

“No, she did, just… it took her longer than it did for your friend.”

Tucker sighed. “Better not mention this to Donut,” he pointed to the waiter in a pink apron, “he’d start going off on how this is fate or some bull.”  
Wash gave a small laugh. “Yeah, probably not fate. But, I am glad it happened. This was…nice.” 

Tucker didn’t know what to say to that, but he wasn’t sure if the warmth he felt creeping up his face was the booze or not. 

He had said they didn’t need to leave, but they got up anyway. Tucker lived close by so they walked in the direction of his apartment. When they got to his doorstep they stood a bit awkwardly in silence before Wash spoke. “This really was nice, Tucker. Thanks.” There was a genuine smile on his face. A small, but genuine smile. 

“Yeah,” Tucker said slowly, “not much of a date but…” 

Without thinking, Tucker leaned in and kissed him. Just a slow, short kiss. When he pulled away, if it weren’t for the dark and the orange street lights Tucker would have sworn Wash was blushing. “Thanks, Wash. I’ll…see you later.” 

Before Wash could say anything, Tucker was already inside.

**Author's Note:**

> Things I couldn't really work in after converting from lax tumblr format to slightly cleaner fic format:  
> On Wash’s side of things, North and York were teasing him about being too serious and never dating. Being the obnoxious older siblings that they are, they decided to “help” him. It was mostly York, who claimed it was cause he was worried about the kid spending too much time with work and not enough time socializing with people outside of work. Also it was funny.  
> Wash and Tucker hadn’t exchanged numbers, but one of them asked their respective Church sibling to look into it for them and it got them to call each other for the first time since Carolina cut ties with their dad. They started to patch things up as well.


End file.
